I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize