I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
