question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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