It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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