I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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