They should really pass out barf bags in church
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize