I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
