The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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