problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
