We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
