If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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