You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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