did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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