batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My Higher Power is John Stamos
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
