i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
