It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
