Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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