all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
