Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
