ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
