ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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