By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
