His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
