its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize