things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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