Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
