I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
