I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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