as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
