she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
