Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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