Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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