We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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