You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
