well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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