She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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