I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Success! We fucked roommates!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
