Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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