During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
