Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Randomize
