At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
