she was so not down for the gang bang
Plan B is the new Plan A
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
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