so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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