Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize