It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
