Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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