You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you would pick up someone in the library
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize