she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
