Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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