I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
