I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
