She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
