You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
