and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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