Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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