He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
