the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
