My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize