her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
